Nowadays I am amazed that women who advocate feminist politics have had so little to say about men and masculinity.

And certainly to know men only in relation to male violence, to the violence inflicted upon women and children, is a partial, inadequate knowing. All that we do not know intensifies our sense of fear and threat. From that time on I began to think that women were afraid to speak openly about men, afraid to explore deeply our connections to them-what we have witnessed as daughters, sisters, grandmothers, mothers, aunts, lovers, occasional sex objects-and afraid even to acknowledge our ignorance, how much we really do not know about men. Filled with quotes from numerous sources, newspaper clippings of male violence, it offered bits and pieces of information there was little or no explanation, no interpretation. Men would become people I could talk to, work with, love. Chesler, with her usual take no prisoners daring, I was certain, would not simply name this fear, explain it, she would do much more: she would make men real to me. I had not been able to confess that not only did I not understand men, I feared them. Back then I had never shared with anyone the feelings I had about men. At last, I thought then, a feminist thinker will explain this mystery-men. When Phyllis Chesler’s book About Men was first published more than ten years ago, I was excited. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves-and lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women.

With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways.

But toxic masculinity punishes those fundamental emotions, and it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that it’s hard for men to not comply-but hooks wants to help change that. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are-whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. From the New York Times bestselling author of All About Love, a brave and astonishing work that challenges patriarchal culture and encourages men to reclaim the best part of themselves.Įveryone needs to love and be loved-even men.

The will to change by bell hooks